... A Theoretical Avarice: Screen Mockup ...
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... A Typical Day Playing Avarice ...
The best way to expedite negotiation is to kill someone!
You are in a palace, negotiating with a princess. You want trade, and she is being a bitch. What you really want to do is to go bar hopping. Sigh. The uppity princess of such-and-such land crosses her arms and pouts. To hell with this. You're a busy person. You order your henchmen to do her in. Is this a bad Idea? Probably. Are you going to do it! Of Course!
You Killed the Princess!
Time to steal everything! You step over her body to let your henchmen, laden with treasure, pass. The palace is full of loot, so you have your crew identify anything that looks expensive and thieve it. Your shareholders will be pleased... But Oh Crap! An angry mob is here to see you. They are armed to the teeth. Time to to run away.
Welcome to the Jungle!
All across the planet, mobs of enraged citizens are on the hunt! If they find you, they will kill you. The sprawling planetary jungle seemed like a good place to disappear. It is also good place to find both herbal medicines and plenty of jungle critters to shoot when things get boring.
Vengeful Jungle Spirits! - ATTACK!
Why are they mad? Maybe you disturbed some ancient shrine. Maybe you need to make sacrifices. Who the hell knows? Perhaps you stepped on their young or something, because they do look a lot like beetles... except hairy. Hairy, and 40 feet tall. To hell with it. You hired Heroes, not Zoologists. Time to DO WORK.
Jungles Suck! Need Help!
Alas. You are still in the Jungle. Jungles suck. You smell BAD. You've got a rash. Thirteen varieties of bizarre ear chiggers have tried to lay their eggs in your brain. You want to get the heck out of here. You need an army! Time to build one!
Strippers and Candy - the building-bocks of every good military operation!
Seven Death Legions await your command! Sort of. Death Legionnaires are people too, thus, they're downright lazy. You need to motivate them so they stop watching TV, rescue your ass and get on with spreading mayhem and destruction - and there's no better motivation than Strippers and Candy!
Death Legions are Awesome!
You attack a defenseless city! Everyone dies! Vengeance feels grrrrreat! All this plunder is going to make your rich! Actually, thanks to previous campaigns just like this, you're already filthy rich with great stock options, so let's say richer-er.
Death Legions are not as awesome as previously thought.
Invading the capital you meet resistance. Your Death Legions have osmium coated armor and pump-action death-rays. The insurgents are little more than scantily clad, sword-wielding barbarians. Stupid fortifications, this should have been over by breakfast. You commit your Heroes to battle, ensuring mass destruction!
Victory Binge Drinking!
You enter the gutted remains of the Imperial Palace. Your Death Legions celebrate your triumph with excessive drinking and debauchery. Someone pukes in a potted palm. Ah, you just found your new planetary governor. Your work here is done.
Home sweet… Crap. Everyone wants to kill you.
You recline in your expensive office lounger. Its good to be home. You've got mail. Hmm. 153 Death threats. That uppity little planet was part of an alliance! Damn. Now would be the time to beg for mercy. On the other hand, what the hell, you're probably doomed anyway. You might at well hit the bar.